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Apparent mismatches
Sep. 12th, 2005 09:44 pmI have a very public job. I get up in front of a room full of teenagers and charm and coax and cajole and occasionally threaten a new language out of them. I interact with many other teachers and staff members throughout the day. How is it that I seem to be rather shy or social phobic? It doesn't make any sense to me. Maybe I am not really that shy. I have often felt that the shy me is not the real me, that it is some kind of mask.
Then again, what do I know? Maybe the public me is the fake one. Maybe they are all parts of the real me. Maybe I am just a complex personality.
I enjoy performing. I will sing or play guitar in front of others and I tend to view my classes as performances. Sometimes I don't see the students. I am watching them, aware of what they are doing, but I don't SEE them. That really makes no sense, but if you were in my head recalling my classes today, it would be clear. Once I set things in motion, events tend to take on lives of their own. It's a good thing in that it allows me to monitor the students and multi-task to an extent.
Teaching is never dull (not to me, anyway) except when giving tests. That is not very interesting to watch.
Being around all those people all day could explain why I like quiet time alone. I tend to avoid places that have a lot of children, especially loud ones!
Then again, what do I know? Maybe the public me is the fake one. Maybe they are all parts of the real me. Maybe I am just a complex personality.
I enjoy performing. I will sing or play guitar in front of others and I tend to view my classes as performances. Sometimes I don't see the students. I am watching them, aware of what they are doing, but I don't SEE them. That really makes no sense, but if you were in my head recalling my classes today, it would be clear. Once I set things in motion, events tend to take on lives of their own. It's a good thing in that it allows me to monitor the students and multi-task to an extent.
Teaching is never dull (not to me, anyway) except when giving tests. That is not very interesting to watch.
Being around all those people all day could explain why I like quiet time alone. I tend to avoid places that have a lot of children, especially loud ones!
