pamelonian

I accidentally dipped my finger in boiling water, but my evening improved from there! I went for another evening voyeur-walk. The weather was way too warm, and it felt weird kicking through fallen leaves wearing shorts at night.

I remembered that I used to go on these little walks after dinner when I was quitting smoking, 12 years ago! It is odd to remember things vividly from 12 years ago... After dinner was a strong cigarette craving time, so I would go for a walk around the block, and beyond. I lengthened the walks when it got too chilly to ride bikes. Then I bought an indoor bike trainer and that was the end of my walking. I should never have stopped.

I also liked going for a brief stroll upon waking (also to avoid smoking). It was cool seeing people in their homes waking up. I could even smell their coffee and breakfast cooking sometimes.

At work everything makes sense. I plan the lessons, hand out papers, and tell people to be quiet. I like Mondays teaching because the students are still pretty sleepy and they don't cause too much trouble. I generally have the whole week planned out in advance, and that allows me to start feeling comfortable.

Am I a control freak? It could be. I do like the feeling of running the show. Even if it is a lame show, it is all mine! I also feel like I have a purpose when I am working. That includes helping others with yardwork or painting. I have gotten through some really bad grieving and major depressions by working...

I rode my bike 11 miles today. It had been too long. I had forgotten what an endorphin kick felt like!