Not testing this time

The subject of testing finally came up for real at the dojo.  We were putting the testing candidates on a list.  I was finally asked directly if I wanted to test, since I was eligible.  I almost surprised myself.  For the first time in my aikido career, I turned down a testing opportunity.  I think one of the signs you are ready to test is when you don't want to.  I really don't care about my rank anymore.  Not that nidan (2nd degree black belt) is a place to stop and rest on one's laurels, but getting a higher rank is not that important to me.  I will test this Spring.  I now have a future date to prepare for and will have a great test instead of one that was thrown together at the last minute.  I have felt rushed on many of my other tests.  I want to look good on this one, not just for myself but for Sensei and the entire organization.  This is where I come from, these are my people, and I want them all to be in on the process with me.  Everyone has been so supportive and helpful.  This test is going to be a fun experience, not a rushed, stressful experience.   As some more experienced members have told me, since this is my last test, it should be a great one.