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I love you, Pam
Oct. 3rd, 2006 09:26 pmSometimes small children can teach us more than we ever could have hoped to figure out on our own. This weekend I was playing with a 4-year-old girl after aikido class and she was spinning around me, climbing on me, tugging my hand, whatever she thought was fun. She stood up on my lap and said, "I love you, Pam!"
Just like that. She wasn't afraid to express her feelings, wasn't afraid I wouldn't say it back. It didn't matter that we were both girls. It was a pure, innocent expression of feelings at the time. Of course I said it back! I am not one who normally finds children cute, but I threw her mommy around in aikido when she was in utero. And I play with her now. And she loves me.
I don't have to do anything outstanding to be loved.
The tone of my friends' posts have not all been this positive. I don't wish to ignore entirely all that shit that is going on in the world (well, maybe I do). I just want to find happy things in life, reasons to keep at it. I know that opening myself to love will also open myself to pain and whatever else wants to come in. I have to accept it all. The alternative is to let no one in and never be hurt. I have done that, too. It's not all it is made out to be.
Just like that. She wasn't afraid to express her feelings, wasn't afraid I wouldn't say it back. It didn't matter that we were both girls. It was a pure, innocent expression of feelings at the time. Of course I said it back! I am not one who normally finds children cute, but I threw her mommy around in aikido when she was in utero. And I play with her now. And she loves me.
I don't have to do anything outstanding to be loved.
The tone of my friends' posts have not all been this positive. I don't wish to ignore entirely all that shit that is going on in the world (well, maybe I do). I just want to find happy things in life, reasons to keep at it. I know that opening myself to love will also open myself to pain and whatever else wants to come in. I have to accept it all. The alternative is to let no one in and never be hurt. I have done that, too. It's not all it is made out to be.
